When I first heard of this new study regarding the differences in orgasm frequency and how heterosexual women were, uh, on the bottom, I had two thoughts. One, it was probably going to turn out to be a lot of feminist jibber-jabber intended to paint heterosexual men in a bad light. That the study featured prominently on an article in HuffPo sort of stomped on that particular confirmation bias button for me. My next thought was that I had to read it. Unfortunately, I didn’t want to pay for it so I had to go with the HuffPo author’s take on it.
Yes, I suppose you could make a point that me being unwilling to take the time to learn more about making women orgasm probably reinforces one of the findings of the study, but by the time you make up your mind to say something, I will already have rolled over and gone to sleep.
Anyway, if the author has it right, the study seems sufficiently scientific and reasonable. They used a great sample size of 52,000 adults and I can’t seem to find fault with what little information I have. Notably, heterosexual women only orgasm about 65% of the time during sex. The big takeaway from the article is that America’s straight wives, mothers, and daughters need more role-play, costume-play, and ass-play:
Women who orgasmed more frequently were more likely to: receive more oral sex, have longer duration of last sex, be more satisﬁed with their relationship, ask for what they want in bed, praise their partner for something they did in bed, call/email to tease about doing something sexual, wear sexy lingerie, try new sexual positions, anal stimulation, act out fantasies, incorporate sexy talk, and express love during sex.
Makes sense to me. I’m certainly willing to go farther in fulfillment of my duties when properly motivated, aren’t you?
Now, I’m not going to go into how many women I’ve slept with except to say that the number is considerably smaller than the sample size of this study. I will confirm that one of them was an actual lesbian who I somehow made bi-curious. With that out of the way, I can say affirmatively that I have known many women who simply are not very sexually adventurous and seemed totally indifferent to the idea of having an orgasm. And believe me: when I was much younger, I tried. Seriously, when I found out that most women do not orgasm during vaginal intercourse, it was great. Took all the pressure off and let me get done faster to see to my hobbies.
But enough about my sordid youth. Some questions for the group:
- Why are so many heterosexual women just not that interested in having orgasms by doing the kinky shit described above?
- Should women be trying to have more orgasms, as the HuffPo author suggests? I mean, is this really something they’re missing out on and it would make their lives markedly better? Really, lesbians have lots of orgasms, but they have their problems too, right?
- Do you really believe that 65% of straight women orgasm during sex? I think most people agree that’s too high or too low. I’m not convinced most women would recognize an actual orgasm if they had one, which is why they’re terrible at faking them.
- Does this study indicate that straight women are repressed or is it probably more that porn is giving women an unrealistic view of sex and how it should be?
The plight of heterosexual women not getting their cookies off has been the focus of much of the coverage, but there are other areas I find interesting such as why bisexual women don’t orgasm much more often than straight women during sex, why gay men have less orgasms than straight men, and why women who like women are attracted to women who dress and act like men.