When I first heard of this new study regarding the differences in orgasm frequency and how heterosexual women were, uh, on the bottom, I had two thoughts.  One, it was probably going to turn out to be a lot of feminist jibber-jabber intended to paint heterosexual men in a bad light.  That the study featured prominently on an article in HuffPo sort of stomped on that particular confirmation bias button for me.  My next thought was that I had to read it.  Unfortunately, I didn’t want to pay for it so I had to go with the HuffPo author’s take on it.

Yes, I suppose you could make a point that me being unwilling to take the time to learn more about making women orgasm probably reinforces one of the findings of the study, but by the time you make up your mind to say something, I will already have rolled over and gone to sleep.

Anyway, if the author has it right, the study seems sufficiently scientific and reasonable.  They used a great sample size of 52,000 adults and I can’t seem to find fault with what little information I have.    Notably, heterosexual women only orgasm about 65% of the time during sex.  The big takeaway from the article is that America’s straight wives, mothers, and daughters need more role-play, costume-play, and ass-play:

Women whorgasmed more frequently were more likely to: receive more oral sex, have longer duration of last sex, be more satised with theirelationship, ask for what they want in bed, praise their partner fosomething they did in bed, call/email to tease about doing something sexual, wear sexy lingerie, try new sexual positionsanal stimulation, act out fantasies, incorporate sexy talk, anexpreslove during sex.

Makes sense to me.  I’m certainly willing to go farther in fulfillment of my duties when properly motivated, aren’t you?

Now, I’m not going to go into how many women I’ve slept with except to say that the number is considerably smaller than the sample size of this study.  I will confirm that one of them was an actual lesbian who I somehow made bi-curious.  With that out of the way, I can say affirmatively that I have known many women who simply are not very sexually adventurous and seemed totally indifferent to the idea of having an orgasm.  And believe me: when I was much younger, I tried.  Seriously, when I found out that most women do not orgasm during vaginal intercourse, it was great.  Took all the pressure off and let me get done faster to see to my hobbies.

But enough about my sordid youth.  Some questions for the group:

  1. Why are so many heterosexual women just not that interested in having orgasms by doing the kinky shit described above?
  2. Should women be trying to have more orgasms, as the HuffPo author suggests?  I mean, is this really something they’re missing out on and it would make their lives markedly better?  Really, lesbians have lots of orgasms, but they have their problems too, right?
  3. Do you really believe that 65% of straight women orgasm during sex?  I think most people agree that’s too high or too low.  I’m not convinced most women would recognize an actual orgasm if they had one, which is why they’re terrible at faking them.
  4. Does this study indicate that straight women are repressed or is it probably more that porn is giving women an unrealistic view of sex and how it should be?

The plight of heterosexual women not getting their cookies off has been the focus of much of the coverage, but there are other areas I find interesting such as why bisexual women don’t orgasm much more often than straight women during sex, why gay men have less orgasms than straight men, and why women who like women are attracted to women who dress and act like men.

9 comments

  1. I did not find this study surprising at all–it’s basically what you’d expect given the biological facts. Sex almost never ends without the man finishing, but given that women are the ovens to men’s microwave, and some women can’t or can’t always get there even if they try, sex will more often end without the woman finishing. I think it’s also obvious lesbians will get there more consistently too, less about their supposed “skill” and more because an O is a natural conclusion to sex, so you’ll go at it until at least someone gets there.
    Straight women are not repressed, at least not on the whole, and I think your observation of many women’s indifference to getting the O, not that they don’t enjoy it when they can have it, is pretty spot on.

  2. Yeah, I’d love a woman’s perspective on whether or not just the act of receiving is fulfilling on its own and if the sheer pleasure of an orgasm is somehow, I don’t know, separate. I’d ask my wife, but I don’t want my ego bruised.

  3. id say biology and evolution is a factor here.. but hell i am one of those fellows that make sure my wife gets hers before i get mine, and with a tongue that can ..well i could make old Gene Simons a bit nervous, i do just fine…

  4. HA! It’s my observation that women who want to have orgasms will get them. Hell, getting oral sex is one of the top things on the list of what women have to ask for to get it. I just haven’t seen that a lot of women care.

    You, on the other hand, are just a lucky married man.

  5. Feminists not complain about something? You jest, sir! That’s their whole reason for existing.

    I mean, most women don’t complain about the lack of orgasms, but feminists will tell those women that they should be unhappy and complaining about it. How dare they be happy with their circumstances!

  6. 1.Why are so many heterosexual women just not that interested in having orgasms by doing the kinky shit described above?
    Because heterosexual women are told from a very early age that they are bad if they want or like sex, let alone kinky shit.

    2.Should women be trying to have more orgasms, as the HuffPo author suggests? I mean, is this really something they’re missing out on and it would make their lives markedly better? Really, lesbians have lots of orgasms, but they have their problems too, right?
    There are some studies which show health benefits. But ask yourself this – how would you feel if you had to stop having orgasms. would it make your life markedly worse? I mean, your problems will still be there, right?

    3.Do you really believe that 65% of straight women orgasm during sex? I think most people agree that’s too high or too low. I’m not convinced most women would recognize an actual orgasm if they had one, which is why they’re terrible at faking them.
    If you’ve ever had an orgasm, you would recognize it if it happened again. Women’s orgasms are not known for being more subtle than men’s, rather less so. The reason women are terrible at faking them is because they are trying to look like the women faking orgasms in porn.

    4.Does this study indicate that straight women are repressed or is it probably more that porn is giving women an unrealistic view of sex and how it should be?
    I think the study indicates several things.
    Women know next to nothing about how their bodies work.
    A lot of women have internalized the message of all those ‘not so fresh feeling’ ads, etc. and believe that their genitals are gross. They are not going to be asking anyone for oral.
    But mostly, women have always been told that wanting and having sex makes you a slut.
    Porn probably contributes to certain body image issues, but overall, I gotta believe that women who are comfortable enough to watch porn are the ones having the orgasms.

  7. Good points, all around. All silliness I put in the post aside, men should be concerned about this issue. When heterosexual women are more comfortable in their own bodies, happier, and enjoy sex more we can only benefit as well!

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