Not really. However, the Girl Scouts have fallen out of favor with one of my local Catholic Archdioceses (I think I have that right).
(Archbishop) Naumann said Girl Scouts contributes more than a million dollars each year to the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts, which he called “an organization tied to International Planned Parenthood and its advocacy for legislation that includes both contraception and abortion as preventive health care for women.”
He also said that many of those who have been cited as role models by Girl Scouts “not only do not reflect our Catholic worldview but stand in stark opposition to what we believe.”
This whole story is hilarious to me, mostly because I love to shit on the Girl Scouts. The organization, that is. Figuratively. I mean I don’t actually shit on girls or anything. Or anyone else. Without consent. You know what? Let’s just move on.
We’ve resisted pressure for years to enroll Thrilla into the Girl Scouts from numerous mothers. You know why? Because the idea of putting my daughter out on the street corner to hustle anybody for any reason feels so wrong. Sure, I agree with the Catholics that Girl Scouts is a decidedly left-leaning organization but that’s not enough on its own to sway me from having my daughter participate.
No, it’s because I think it’s stupid that Girl Scout of the USA’s sole reason for existence seems to be selling those cookies. It’s an asinine pyramid scheme that apparently exists for no other reason than to torment and shame family, friends, and coworkers into buying cookies. Really. Dollar General has a perfectly good Thin Mints knockoff brand, by the way. You don’t have to submit to this, you know.
I’m sure GSUSA does other things. The article mentions some other charity work, but I have to say that they keep a pretty low profile for anything that doesn’t involve cookie pushing. No, there’s always that one weekend every now and then where I drive to Waffle House and there are Girl Scouts in front of the restaurant selling cookies. I drive to the store and there are Girl Scouts working every other corner. I go into the store to buy whiskey and there are Girl Scouts standing at the entrance, judging me. I go home and take off my pants and start drinking and Girl Scouts ring my doorbell to force their products on me while I’m at my most vulnerable. I don’t like it.
While I’m on this topic, can I just say that if we have to tolerate Girl Scouts occupying our neighborhoods every now and then, can we at least force them to wear their uniforms while they’re doing it? When the Eagle Scouts and the like do official scout stuff, they wear their uniforms. If the Girl Scouts would act like they’re an actual scouting organization and dress the part, I might take their shitty left-wing paramilitary junior feminist cadre a bit more seriously.
I’m sure some of you probably have daughters in Girl Scouts. I’d like to think that most of you agree that you hate having to participate in the cookie scheme as much as I would. But does anyone disagree? Is there more to it all than simply annoying me?
The American Heritage Girls look like a totally different brand of bullshit, but since I wasn’t even aware that they existed until I read this article, I’ll have to discuss them at another time. Or never. For now, I’m just delighting in this local theological repudiation of Girl Scouts.