It’s been a long, hot summer and nowhere hotter than the South.
This week we witnessed Alt-Right-tards and Antifags fighting in the streets over ancient history, for and against things that they really don’t understand. You know, General Lee would have died of shame if he’d known he was destined to become an icon to be defended by hate-filled incels and fuckups. Antifa jerkoffs unironically wear a label created by Communists, an ideology deadlier than Nazism. They have now become the Nazis they claim to fight even as viewing today’s mouth-breathing Klansmen makes it seem more likely that the white race should choose to gracefully die off rather than accept them as our finest specimens.
The Old Dominion was the battleground for this episode, as I believe it holds most of them from the (first?) American Civil War. It’s not really exclusively a South Problem though. Somehow, it just seems that America’s contradictory issues that it has always struggled with over race, faith, states rights, and other flashpoints have been especially…intense…in that region.
Arrogant people from far away might say it’s that the South is backward, but it isn’t. The list of great inventors, statesmen, musicians, and military heroes produced there dwarfs that of some nations and regions with much longer histories. Still, there always has been both a notable resistance to change and a certain attitude toward violence in the character of the South that has led to some of its worst episodes. Sadly, Charlottesville was another one we’ll be hearing about for the rest of our lives.
However, the South has a way of pointing out which direction the rest of the country is heading. Our early government was dominated by Viriginians, after all (shut up, Adams). Racial issues and segregation were not limited to the South and many Northern cities also struggle with them to this day. Once again, we are seeing our own frustrations play out as we try to determine who we are. And it is starting in the South.
Ah, but you know what? This isn’t yet another preachy blog post about how our society is swirling ever more rapidly into madness. It’s a music thread. Let’s talk about what the South is THE BEST at: Music. The American South is the home of the Blues, Jazz, Rhythm and Blues, and Rock n Roll (thanks, blacks!). There’s also Country and Western, Bluegrass, and Gospel. New, exciting, and radical forms of music which formed the basis for almost everything we listen to today. What about you, Blue States? Invent any bold and enduring genres that continue to spawn derivations over a couple of centuries lately? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Here are this week’s categories:
- Dick Sea – Songs about the South and living in it, partaking of its culture, and recognizing its uniqueness.
- Them Dukes – The boys of the Alt-Right and Antifa are ornery fellas, but they’re a shadow of the courteous yet tough and hardworking, hard-charging gentlemen who were once the pride of the Old South. Let’s have some music from some badboy Southern artists who were goddamn wild. This is not just for any Southern artists, mind you. The reason is that it’s just too easy. They have to be real rebs. You guys post better shit when we make you work for it.
- Song of the South – Sorry, but we have to address race. It’s front and center right now, my honkies. For this category, I’m good with songs about the civil rights struggle and all of that, but I would also appreciate songs that could be considered offensive by contemporary standards even though they might not have been in their own time. Or you could just go bluntly racist. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can play it safe and mock your own race or culture like a total cuckservative.
You know what? All of the #3’s are NSFW. Let’s just put it out there. Do NOT click those at work. Or at all.
The South Has Risen! Here are your dedications:
Kevin: A strong #1. These guys were good. Whatever happened to them?
Santino: Yeah, you think you’re badass because you ran up on a bunch of Nazis with shields and baseball bats and sprayed some bear mace on them, but are you wild enough to…marry your 13 year old…cousin? The only #2 in the dedications.
spootyjim: An explicit #3. You do not want to watch this one at work or at least keep the volume down if you’re a Google employee. It’s one rock cover that will almost certainly not get remade again.
pfluffy: Here’s a SFW #3. Well, I think it’s a #3 about interracial dating. All I know is that it reminds me of a certain vampire movie and has me itching for Halloween.
Grendel: Primus is mandatory here, even though they’re Californian. This is a #3 with hurtful stereotypes. As a man with a cousin who is a white trash tweeker, I’m literally shaking with outrage. He’s shaking too, but because he’s a tweeker.
westvirginiarebel: I apologize, but this is the least edgy #3 I can imagine, besides Zip A Dee Do Dah. Possibly my favorite piano tune though.
Want a dedication of your own next week? Post a song in the comments.