Here we find ourselves once again capping off another wild week in Trumplandia. It wouldn’t have been complete without at least one gaffe by the President. In this case, he revealed that he’s been talking to himself about the hurricane impact on the US Virgin Islands and agrees that he is doing a heckuva job.
This was a lost opportunity. If only the (performs quick Internet search) governor of the Virgin Islands had complained about the federal response to the islands. Then Trump could have denounced the “President of the US Virgin Islands” in a devastating tweet without realizing that he’s the President of the US Virgin Islands. Then some troll could say, “Hey, the President of the Virgin Islands just criticized you! Better hit him again!” Let Trump chase his tail for a few weeks, insulting himself and then responding.
Somehow, I feel like this is the logical course that all of this trash talk will follow. Trump is sort of like Bowerick Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged from the Hitchhiker’s Guide Trilogy. You know, the character who flies all over the universe to personally insult every single person who lives in it across time and space, one at a time. When he’s finally burned Rosie O’Donnell, the GOP, the Democrats, the mayor of San Juan, Rex Tillerson, Kim Jong Un, NBC, CNN, the New York Times, and everyone else he can possibly insult in the span of eight years, he’ll at long last take on his one and only worthy opponent and destroy what’s left of Creation in an epic storm.
On the subject of epic storms, the Justice Department is reportedly sending more federal assistance to Puerto Rico in the form of some FBI agents to investigate why it is that aid isn’t reaching the island’s residents. Being that it’s the FBI, I imagine that they’ll first deny that they’ve found any link between the devastation and the hurricane. Then they’ll release a timeline of events showing that the countryside was flooded three weeks before the hurricane came through. Finally, they’ll be informed by a contract company hired by Mayor Cruz that the supplies were diverted by Russian hackers. They’ll accept that as the conclusion and head home. Honestly, Trump should just send the entire FBI to Puerto Rico to drive supply trucks for a few weeks. It would be more productive than anything else they’ve done recently.
The FBI/LVMPD investigation into the Las Vegas shooting remains a complete clown orgy of disgusting absurdity. It has played out like this over the past couple of weeks…
FBI/LVMPD: “Jesus Campos, a casino security guard, ran up to the floor as Paddock was firing on the crowd. Paddock started shooting at Campos and then killed himself, saving untold numbers of lives!”
A week later…
FBI/LVMPD: “Alright, what actually happened is that Jesus Campos went to the suspect’s floor to check on an open door alarm. While he was up there, Paddock started shooting at him for no apparent reason. Then Paddock hung around for six minutes, also for no reason, while nobody called the police. There wasn’t any reason for waiting six minutes either, but it’s pretty clear that the slow response was entirely the hotel’s fault. But that’s what we’ve learned from our exhaustive and totally professional investigation after ten days.”
MGM: “No, assholes. We took the extraordinary investigatory step of actually interviewing our employees and they said that Paddock opened fire on the crowd within a minute of firing on Campos”
The next day…
FBI/LVMPD: “Yes, MGM is right. Even though there were two hotel employees on the floor for us to interview, we half-assed it and didn’t get any of the facts right. Our bad! But we’re still totally going to investigate it right from now on and figure out why Paddock did this.”
ISIS: “We told you. We did it.”
FBI: “Who are you again?”
ISIS: “You don’t remember? Garland, Texas? We sent a couple of our guys to shoot up an event and you had a couple of your guys–”
FBI: “ANYWAY, WE HAVEN’T FOUND ANYTHING! WE’LL HAVE ANOTHER PRESS CONFERENCE EVENTUALLY FOR JOURNALISTS WHO DON’T ASK QUESTIONS! THANKS!”
FBI/LVMPD/MGM: “Who is this Jesus Campos person everyone keeps asking about?”
Jesus Campos, being a national hero for whatever the hell it was the FBI and LVMPD are saying that he did according to this week’s version of events, disappeared. He even skipped out on an interview with Sean Hannity along with a few other news outlets. Not since Carmen Sandiego has a Hispanic been so elusive and mysterious.
The theories surrounding Campos are as varied as you can imagine. Depending on who you ask he either was an accomplice of Paddock’s, or he killed Paddock and did all of the killing himself, or he was killed for knowing too much and there’s no Jesus Campos to be found anymore. I don’t go that far. My own thought is that MGM is going to get bankrupted by lawsuits when it comes out that they enabled Paddock to get the weapons to his room using the service elevator (escorted by a security officer, no less) and the less Campos says publicly, the better. Indeed, the first lawsuit has already been filed.
Hey, isn’t it remarkable that MGM is about to get sued into oblivion and they got the FBI and LVMPD to change their official timeline of the shooting so that it altered specific details that would have been extremely devastating to their defense? I could understand making these errors within the first few days after an incident, but two weeks? Ah, well. I’m sure the dipshit conspiracy nuts won’t make a big deal about all of the incons…
Well, I’m not ready to call Campos an accomplice. I think MGM and law enforcement are pressuring him to shut up. Not sure why, but it’s definitely nefarious.
How about some appreciation for Laura Loomer, by the way? I’ve never paid much attention to her before, but she deserves a great deal of credit for her work on this story. As far as I know, she’s the first to report that Campos has armed guards protecting his house. The family has gone so far as to put up “No Media” signs at the house to get rid of her and the LVMPD has barred her from attending press conferences.
Speaking of people sticking their noses in places they don’t belong, the Trump Administration took some consequential steps in prioritizing Israel’s interests over the USA’s this week. First, he withdrew the United States from UNESCO because it’s mean to Israel or something. Next, he took steps to end the Iran nuclear weapons deal that Obama put in place to keep that country from developing nuclear weapons.
The only beneficiary of these policies is Israel, not the United States. UNESCO, I don’t really care about. Iran, on the other hand, I would argue isn’t really our problem. For the remainder of this century, I think we’re going to see a balance of power struggle between Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and Iran to determine who will hold sway over the region. None of them should win and we should be doing everything we can to maintain a stalemate rather than bringing ourselves into direct conflict with Iran to “help” anyone.
Obamacare, already clinging to the edge of the cliff, now has Trump stomping on its fingers. His latest EO will hasten the collapse and force Congress to act, sooner or later. We’ve argued in the past about Obama’s standing among US Presidents. I rate him “mediocre”, not because I didn’t like him or his politics, but because he accomplished so little of significance during his two terms. His largest legislative accomplishment, Obamacare, destroyed his party at all levels of government. Through his second term, he could do little but sign Executive Orders with no permanence or lasting legacy. All of it is already being erased by his successor, much like an ancient pharoah’s name might be from monuments the day after the funeral.
Thanks for all the links, Russia!
Not since Pokemon Go has so much Russian propaganda been distributed so shamelessly and subversively as this post. I look forward to meeting Bob Mueller later. Will probably happen at about the same time the Trump Administration starts enforcing those sanctions.
An excellent piece in War is Boring discusses the folly of using the failed lessons of counterinsurgencies in foreign wars in domestic policing.
In California, you can bang a tranny and give him/her HIV as long as you don’t misgender him/her. Giving someone a terminal disease is now pretty much the same thing as hurting someone’s feelings. Can we get the doom going yet? I can’t handle much more.
Speaking of the Gotterdammerung in California, the Weinstein scandal keeps expanding like a sinkhole, threatening to swallow all of Hollywood. Here’s something that didn’t age well:
If you don’t understand why so many of us on the Right are enjoying this scandal so much, it’s because we’ve known all along that Hollywood is rotten and exploitative and yet has always seen fit to lecture us about Social Justice without living by its own rules. Hollywood will survive this under a couple of qualifications. First, that the sacrifice of Weinstein calms the waters. Second, that no victims of casting couch pedophilia come forward and start naming names. This can still be contained while being the best, most original, and most entertaining story to come out of Hollywood in 20 years.
That’s not to minimize the awfulness of the wildfires, which have already cost 38 lives and millions of dollars in destroyed homes. This includes the old home of cartoonist Charles Schulz.
The state of America:
Anyway, that should be enough to get us started on some good discussion. What do you want to share?