In the past few weeks I have watched Stranger Things Season 2, a new Star Wars trailer, and some reviews of the Blade Runner remake. It has occurred to me that the rest of America is just like me. Everybody misses that simpler, more decadent time. It was a time that the Corey’s were funny child actors instead of drugged-out victims, Michael Jackson was a MTV sex symbol instead of a weirdo who gave kids wine, Al Franken was a comedian instead of…well…the Al Franken we know today, and Donald Trump was a rich celebrity who was not otherwise taken seriously by anyone.
The 1980’s weren’t perfect, of course. There was the whole constant threat of certain nuclear war with the Soviet Union and all that. But we knew we could take them if they were ever foolish enough to invade and attack our schools and take over our drive-in theaters. Nowadays? The United States is apparently helpless against Russian trolling on Facebook. Come (the fuck) on.
The leaders of our nation were the old Greatest Generation, the last ones who knew how to run the damn country. The Boomers were still awesome, if you can believe it, at what I would argue was the height of their creativity. The Millennials were babies and weren’t driving us insane with their incessant whining about underemployment, student loans, and gender confusion. It was a better time for even the angstiest of we Gen Xers. Not as good as the Fifties for Boomers, I imagine, but pretty awesome.
Pop music was so much better, wasn’t it? You had the British New Wave, Hair Metal, and so much more. In that decade, David Bowie was still turning out hits. This decade? Bowie is dead. Prince? Purple Rain, yes. Now? He’s dead. I can’t even listen to pop music anymore. I’d happily resurrect Bowie or Prince like so much Shelley Long in Hello Again even if it meant taking some years off of the lives of Katy Perry and Taylor Swift, wouldn’t you?
Let’s go back to that happy place this week with these categories:
- I Want My MTV: Yes, MTV used to play nothing but music videos all day long, as I’ve mentioned before. But this is when it was in its prime. I remember it well with my cable television remote that only had one button; sort of like your iPhone, you Millennial faggot. For this, post the most iconic and radical music videos of the era.
- Max Headroom: Genres and bands which were extremely popular during the Eighties and ONLY the Eighties.
- Pepperidge Farms Remembers: TV show themes, commercial jingles, and other tunes that take you back, you old bitch.
This week’s dedications.
pfluffy: I couldn’t possibly surpass the insanely great DJ post you made last week. All I can do is share this. It was the first show that my big sister and I could watch together. We argued about everything else at the time, but both loved this show. It puts me in a good frame of mind to hear the theme again.
Santino: My mother had songs like this playing a lot in the early 80’s. This reminds me of the wild time before she married my stepfather and it was just me and my sisters against the Earth.
Grendel: I remain obsessed with the Transformers to this day, except for those shit-awful Michael Bay “films”. I hated this version of the show’s theme when I was a kid, but now I accept it as superior to the first season’s. Long live Galvatron.
Zurvan: I’m just going to admit that I still get Phil Gabriel and Peter Collins confused to this very day. But they were both incredible. Let’s get Cusack.
spootyjim: So you like metal covers, do you? Here’s a classic.
I just noticed that Vince Neil was really pretty.
WVR: Probably the most memorable video of the decade, although I can’t stand listening to the song on the radio.
Want a dedication of your very own next week? Share a song in the comments.