Thanksgiving is a purely American holiday which is grounded in a sense of family, fellowship, and faith. We enjoy our feasts and give thanks for all of the blessings in life.
But not today. Not here at RVS. We’re having none of it. Instead, this is a day for lashing out at the ungrateful and punishing them for their lack of appreciation for all we have to offer. Admittedly, I’m grouchy. A razorblade managed to get stuck in one of my tires and I had to buy a new one on Wednesday. Ho. Ho. Ho.
I’m not even going to spend a lot of time on this post, because you know you don’t deserve it. On this blackest of Fridays, lay down some judgement with these categories.
- She cried “more, more, more”: Songs about people who are just never satisfied. Greed, ingratitude, and un-fulfillment and all that. What more do you want from me???
- A Festivus for the rest of us: Call out all of those turkeys who haven’t participated on a DJ thread since Squanto grabbed those Narraganset women by the beaver skins.
- Why the everlasting fuck would I give you people a third category?: You could post something tire-related, I guess. Or maybe ass-bruising. Something with spanking? Why not?
Only the Penitent Man Shall Pass Bonus: Remind me of the reason for the season with songs that speak of charity, selflessness, and all that glad shit. These days, being a decent and kind anti-narcissist is a rebellious act.
spootyjim: I Want It All (Queen cover) by Lorihen
pfluffy: Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead
Zurvan: I’ve Done Everything For You by Rick Springfield
Santino: Ode to Sleep by twenty one pilots
Grendel: Ah, I’m just going to give you some ass-smacking.
WVR: We Hate It When You Get What You Want by Filter
That’s all I have this week. Don’t break your necks thanking me, like so much Lavar Ball.