The implacable vengeance of the #MeToo movement remained ascendant this week, bringing down yet more powerful celebrities, journalists, and politicians. Conservative evangelical Roy Moore was told to fuck both himself and the horse he literally rode in on in one of the most conservative evangelical Republican of conservative evangelical Republican states. We learned that Ishtar wasn’t the worst thing Dustin Hoffman did in the 1980’s. Tavis Smiley did something to somebody at some point. Honestly, I don’t know who he is so I didn’t have anything funny to say about it. Maybe I’ll edit this later.
It’s only a matter of time before this movement starts destroying the lives and careers of complete everyday nobodies as well. The Patriarchy, or whatever is left of it, is on the fast track to ruin and many will burn in its fiery collapse.
Those days in which an unattractive man with wealth and power could score with a hot chick are already fading away like bare midriffs by the late 2000’s. There remains virtually no situation or topic in which accusations of sexually predatory behavior can’t be injected and if you can’t see it, you’re part of the problem as I understand it. I can’t even tell what’s parody or what I’m genuinely supposed to be ashamed of anymore.
You guys, I've found it: The worst Star Wars take on the internet. pic.twitter.com/R3NMLzpSKB
— yokotaster (@neontaster) December 14, 2017
So this is our last hurrah. Our last chance to glory in the good old days of the objectification of women. Share the music now before it’s banned!
This week’s categories:
- I said it must be the ass ’cause it ain’t ya face – Sexism! Songs about chasing gorgeous women or videos that use them basically as props.
- In the midnight hour, she cried Moore, Moore, Moore! – Very similar to the above, but there has to be a creep factor. Dating high school girls, stalking, etc. Can be parody or played straight. As a personal favor, please find me videos with beautiful women acting like they’re attracted to the ugliest, nastiest-looking guys for all the wrong reasons. There’s something hilarious about that to me. I don’t know why.
- Selfsploitation – Female artists who got far coasting on their sluttiness and good looks with very little talent behind any of it.
pfluffy: She’s hot, half-naked, and totally not into him. I LOVE THIS ONE. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak.
Santino: This one may be too on-the-nose. High School Confidential by Jerry Lee Lewis
WVR: That last one led me to this one. I don’t know why, but I’ve always interpreted this song as him being in a thing with a younger but sexually curious and ultra-horny girl. Like that 22 year old guy with a shitty mustache who still dates high school girls–and yet they still think he’s cute. It’s probably says more about my dirty mind than the Big Bopper’s. Chantilly Lace.
JDPS: Just how outdated is my knowledge of the rap genre? It’s this bad. The video is on par with Tip Drill in terms of fappiness though.
And that’s it. Easy week for dedications. I might have to start calling people out.