Relationship advice on a political blog? Yeah, we can do that. In an effort to make this your one stop full service blog ( my eggplant parmigiana recipe to follow) I’ll put this question out for dissemination; what is an absolute deal breaker for furthering a relationship?
Over the past few weeks I’ve had some interesting talks with my kid. A short bio; he is 22, fresh out of college and is going to grad school in the fall. Both his mother and I want him to pick a school outside his comfort zone, preferably out of the state. He has been accepted to 4 different schools, some with scholarships provided. Why, you ask, would we want him a bit of distance away? Because his sophomore year he met a girl and has dated her exclusively ever since. Translation, he has not broadened his sampling of dating to the degree we find necessary for a well-informed decision on his future. Our talks have covered the basics; values, kids, religion, geography and careers.
The other day I found a great Ben Shapiro video, which I shared with him, that is worthy of discussion here;
We like the girl. Smart, pretty, driven in her career, he could do worse. She is catholic, we aren’t, that is not a big deal. But both his mother and I come from a place of unity in that the purpose of dating is to give the greatest sampling of possibilities. You experiment, you try everything, this is the only way to see what type of mate you could hang with for the long-term.
I think Ben is right here in that values are paramount. One of the running jokes we have together (I think it’s funny, she, not so much) is that we dated for almost 8 years, during that time seeing other people, life threw us a few curve balls. But we always ended up back together as our common values kept revealing themselves.
So, some general questions;
How important is socio-economic backgrounds?
How about political ideology, to the point at which it is established in your life? Can a rightie truly be happy with a leftie, have an appreciation for the 1st Amendment and an understanding of gun rights?
Do you have to be on the same page re: child rearing?
Is their religious (or lack of) upbringing something that needs to be determined?
How about money (the number one issue of conflict in marriages)? Can a saver live with a spender or an instant gratifier live with a rain day-er?
For a young couple talking about marriage (they aren’t, thank God) what would be your number one bit of sage advice?
TBH, it is such a relief to be on the downside of my life, not having to worry about dating or working. And I hope to avoid the conversation of ,”Boy, you guys sure did screw things up for the new generation taking over”. I kept telling them deficits were bad, honestly.