Although I wrote this post on Sunday, there was no way I was going to publish it on Easter, for obvious reasons.
In Trump’s America everybody works. Jobs are plentiful, the economy is humming, the little SJW muppets are feeling frisky, and the American dream is more accessible than ever. With degree in hand the millennial’s need only open up a newspaper to find something stimulating. If you are big in to the outdoors, exercise, fresh air, and like working with people, there is a little resort in Road Island that has your name on it;
Help wanted: Foster campground seeks lifeguard. Traditional red swimsuit not necessary.
Really, no swimsuit, whatever color, is necessary, but the lifeguard at Dyer Woods Nudist Campgrounds “can wear their suit,” says Jim Johnson, campground president.
Still, he or she might feel a little out of place.
“We’re a nudist campground. We’re not clothing-optional,” Johnson says. “We found over the years, with clothing-optional places, you get more gawkers, people who just want to show up and look.”
I’d rather nail my penis to a burning post. I’d rather shower in a New Delhi sewer. I’d rather perform my own appendectomy when all I have is a tooth ache. You get the idea, this job sounds really sucky.
Anybody that has spent any time at all working out at their local gym knows that your average naked person is not a sight to behold. Sure, I know what you’re thinking, anyone that would belong to a nudist colony would understand the “icky” factor and thus would be self-conscious of their physique making sure it is presentable and not gross out material. You would be wrong.
A couple other questions; what type of parents bring their kids to a nudist colony? Since gender is a social construct, are bathrooms and changing areas uni sex? Are there signs predominantly displayed, “For the safety of our guests, all boners should be kept at a safe distance”, you can put an eye out with those things. Of course this would assume that there were present naked bodies sufficiently toned as to precipitate said boner.
What about the confusion about sun screen application etiquette? I assume one can only apply it to one’s self and in public ,”Daddy, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t miss a spot”.
And in R.I. you only have, what, 5 months out of the year that you can really walk around au naturel?
When I think of nudist colonies or nude beaches, this comes readily to mind; (NSFW, you got that? NSFW)
Hawaii, California, Florida, places where the resort can stay open all year, how else does it make economic sense?
This concept should have died with the Betamax.