Ahhhhh.  I’m just not feeling very combative this week, are you?  We had already discussed the state of public discourse in the US last week.  As if it wasn’t bad enough, we had another mass shooting and these incidents always bring out the worst emotions in the national conversation.  The furor over the replacement of a Supreme Court Justice is just the Bacos on our incipient civil war salad, to apply an Archer-ism.

I mean, if Rasmussen is to be believed, we’re just waiting around for someone to try to retake Harper’s Ferry.

Amid widespread political polarization on issues like immigration and recent public confrontations of Trump administration officials, 31 percent of probable U.S. voters surveyed said they think “it’s likely that the United States will experience a second civil war sometime in the next five years.”

Democrats at 37 percent were slightly more fearful of a second civil war than Republicans at 32 percent, the poll from Rasmussen Reports found.

Hey, they almost agree on something!  This is a good time to remind the world of my standing threat vow: if, God forbid, a second civil war occurs in the USA I will do all I can to keep me and my family out of it.  However, I will fight viciously against the side that is dumb enough to drag me into it.

Like, I’ll draw from my extensive knowledge of history on the topics of war crimes, torture techniques, and other atrocities and bring it all to bear in the most complete and implacable fashion against whoever is stupid enough to pester me.  Seriously, leave me out of it.

Better yet, let’s all just lighten up.

Speaking of lightening up, I had mentioned on an open thread all the way back in March that I was working on getting back in shape after going all wobbly over the Winter.  I’ve lost about 16 pounds since then, or approximately one pound per week. I’m happy with that.  Over on Rich’s “weighty” post, I mentioned that I’m only one pound above “normal” BMI for my height and feeling good about it.

Assuming I don’t screw up in July–as I usually do thanks to a couple of birthdays and Independence Day and vacation and all sorts of distractions–I should hit my goal weight in September.  What do you care?  I don’t know.  Hey, one-third of the country thinks that another one-third of it is getting ready to butcher it, so I thought you’d want to know that something is going well for somebody.

Plus, I need to be fit in case I need to go all Thirty Years War on any nearby communities.  It would honestly suck either way.  If I have to fight the Right, that means traipsing around in rural areas filled with pissed off and well-armed hillbillies and military veterans while I’m stuck relying on a bunch of bearded soyboys who keep correcting me on gender pronouns.  Fighting the Left means physically taxing urban warfare and probably having to sign off on some genocidal shit down the line when the extremists get their way (although I’d more than likely be on the winning side).  God damn it, just get along, assholes.

On the topics of fitness and the sort of incompetent morons you wouldn’t want to share a foxhole with, here’s another one from Infinite Elgintensity on how not to do meal prep.

Sometime today I’m going to get around to watching this documentary on Sun Tzu.  You know, to continue my preparations for dealing with the hordes of psycho feminists who are just itching to do battle blah blah Mueller something pussy-grab something, something Drumpf and blah blah open borders my ass.

What this country really needs is a collective belly laugh.  If our comedians were actually interested in being funny instead of agitating the hostility, we could probably see our way through the Trump Years bloodlessly.  Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if we need to launch a class action lawsuit against late night television, comedy screenwriters, and Comedy Central for malpractice. Let’s have more of this, come on.  It’s funny.

A year and a half of furious anger hasn’t accomplished anything, has it?  Lighten up and try fighting back with humor.  That’s what I’d really like to see this week.  Make us laugh.  Share anything you have that’s funny.

That’s about all I have for this week.  We did a remarkably good job staying on top of things and it generated some great discussion.  Thanks to everyone who chipped in and kept it civil and constructive.  For those who didn’t, fuck you.

6 comments

  1. I’m sure it’s a liberal hoax just like all of the fake book passages but I’m going to sit back and enjoy the world while the FART Act is a thing.

  2. I have a few theories on that. One is that we may finally be getting the national laugh we deserve.

    Another is that giving it a comical name will make it harder to protest.

    And finally, it could just be a trial balloon for the next immigration bill tentatively named the Forsaken Unaccompanied Children Kickout Act

  3. Forsaken Unaccompanied Children Kickout Act

    Well done!

    Some good alternatives that I saw elsewhere:

    -Reciprocal International Mercantile Job Opportunity Bill
    -Bilateral Organization of National Exchange Reciprocity
    -Fair International Neo-Global Exchange Reciprocity Between All Nations Gang

    And these other organizations names:

  4. There’s also the National Inquiry for Good Guidance on Ending Racism Act. The Administration is looking to improve race relations around the anniversary of Charlottesville. I’m really hoping the announcement will get people thinking more about the issue of racism.

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