Ho-Ho-Ho. Merry Christmas, everybody!
There was a post up earlier this week that inferred an effort by a “woke generation” to degrade Santa Claus via tits, drugs and white privilege. I have never heard any of these arguments before, but actually, Santa has been rolling downhill for decades if you look at it. He went from gift-giving mythical creature somehow magically visiting each and every child’s home once per year to in-store flesh and bone reality in 1890’s Massachusetts. People came from far and wide to see Santa in person. This, I contend, was the beginning of the decline in stature for ol’ St. Nick. Real people can’t measure up.
Over time, Store Santa became Mall Santa. You no longer had to go to an actual department store to see Santa. I guess it would be a little weird to have three or four Santas in the same building. Hundreds and thousands of kids line up, sometimes for hours, to sit on a stranger’s lap and tell him what they want all over the world. Mistakes will inevitably be made. Kids pee and puke and cry, sometimes all at the same time. Santas sometimes react negatively to bodily fluids deposited on their laps. Santas seen drinking in their suits acquired a reputation for being drunken sots 11 months out of the year, sometimes the whole year.
Generation X finally just went ahead and gifted us Bad Santa, a foul-mouthed, reprobate Mall Santa quite irredeemably vile. And funny. It was funny because Mall Santa had already developed a full-blown drunken sot stereotype. And Billy Bob Thornton.
As for the tits, “Sexy Santa” has been a thing for awhile. I think that we can let the young whippersnappers off the hook on the demise of Santa.
This week let’s just play Christmas songs, either traditional or modern, doesn’t matter. I love Christmas songs.
Here are your Christmas dedications:
Santino – You’re A Mean One Mr Grinch
Thrill – Christmas In Hollis
Grendel – Christmas Wrapping