That Gillette Ad

Oh, I hate to write about that ad and give it any more oxygen than it deserves. But I’m seeing discussions about it flooding all of my social media accounts, so I will take some time and complain about it too.

First up, I think this guy did a fine job breaking down everything that’s wrong with the ad itself.

Now this is another one of those situations in which a corporate entity whose products I don’t use has done something that makes it, shall we say, less likely that I ever will use their products. I’m not talking boycott necessarily, since I’m already quite happy with my old fashioned double edge safety razor and generic shaving cream that aren’t produced by Gillette. Just the same, I’m angered by this.

It’s not that I disagree with the message that men shouldn’t be assholes. That’s pretty much the philosophical basis for the great religions of the world.

What triggers me is that this is yet another example of corporate America taking it upon itself to lecture and preach at me. If your core fucking reason for existing is to sell environmentally-unfriendly disposable razor cartridges, I don’t care at all what you have to say on any social topic, ever. This goes for all of these “socially conscious businesses” in all industries honestly. Sell your products or fuck yourself with them. I don’t care.

What is it about this stupid decade that people think they have the right to incessantly preach their own bizarre and divisive morality at every turn and that it’s a great idea for businesses to do it to their core demographic at the expense of running their business?

Honestly, this practice is so self-destructive and yet so prevalent that I have to wonder if it isn’t being coordinated somehow for some evil purpose by some unseen forces. If corporate entities were actively sowing social chaos for the sake of profits, that’d be one thing. This? It’s senseless.

I really just want Gillette and other companies that think it’s their role to harangue me into wokeness to get hurt. Not just financially. I want them to pay for their arrogant stupidity in all ways imaginable. I want them to get shocked trying to get bread out of a plugged-in toaster with a knife. I’d like to see a member of their board of directors slip on ice and bust his “toxic male” ass running through the parking lot because he’s late for a meeting.

Think I’m being too harsh? I’m not. This is the result of years of being told in media what a terrible person I am and I’m truly sick of it. They’ve made it personal and I’m returning the ill-will.

I certainly don’t have to take this shit from companies like Gillette, whose parent company (Procter and Gamble) is known for exploiting women and children workers in hazardous–dare I say “toxic”–working conditions.

Quit lecturing me with your vapid hatemongering and execute any member of your marketing team who even breathes Culture War expressions like “MeToo” within the walls of your office buildings. This goes for all businesses regardless of idealogy. If you try to screw with my worldview and suggest that I, the customer, am not doing enough to be a good little social justice tool in your eyes, I’m not buying your crap. I will also apply my own twisted morality and pray for your ruin.

Belated disclaimer: I’m not calling for acts of violence against any individuals or business. I’m merely calling upon the Old Gods and the New to unleash a divine sort of punishment upon them for annoying the hell out of me.